At the playground, this is what I hear a lot of, "Jimmy*, we're going to go home in five minutes, okay?" "Sally, you shouldn't hit your brother, okay?" "Bobby, putting dirt in your mouth is not okay, okay?" It drives me bananas. Why are these parents asking for agreement from their toddlers? I know I do it myself, but it has to stop. I understand wanting to know if your child has heard you, but every "okay" I hear at the end of a sentence undermines everything that has been said. It's less of a directive and more a request if, perhaps, the child in question doesn't mind obeying.
I know we are not drill sergeants, but last I checked, parents are supposed to give directives. They are supposed to tell their children what is not safe, fair or kind, not ask them. Half the time, the kids ignore (or laugh at) their parents' statements and I wonder if that would be different if parents just spoke more firmly. Of course, I can't test that theory properly because almost everyone I know ends their sentence with "okay."
The last few paragraphs of the (snootily titled, yet interesting) article Why French Parents Are Superior touches upon this as well. The French woman is recommending firmness and I bet that the American mother was saying, "Don't run outside the gate, okay?" If that is the case, then it's good news. That means that we don't have to be French to be superior, we just have to stop asking our kids to do as we say and start telling them. Okay?
*My neighborhood is so diverse that I have yet to meet a kid named Jimmy, Sally or Bobby at the playground. They sound like imaginary kids from the 1950s.
I know we are not drill sergeants, but last I checked, parents are supposed to give directives. They are supposed to tell their children what is not safe, fair or kind, not ask them. Half the time, the kids ignore (or laugh at) their parents' statements and I wonder if that would be different if parents just spoke more firmly. Of course, I can't test that theory properly because almost everyone I know ends their sentence with "okay."
The last few paragraphs of the (snootily titled, yet interesting) article Why French Parents Are Superior touches upon this as well. The French woman is recommending firmness and I bet that the American mother was saying, "Don't run outside the gate, okay?" If that is the case, then it's good news. That means that we don't have to be French to be superior, we just have to stop asking our kids to do as we say and start telling them. Okay?
*My neighborhood is so diverse that I have yet to meet a kid named Jimmy, Sally or Bobby at the playground. They sound like imaginary kids from the 1950s.
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