When you picture a cute little baby, you probably think sweet thoughts about her cooing, giggling and hanging on your every word. Then you have one and realize that that cute little baby has needs and she is going to make them known NOW. Which sounds a lot like a few bosses I've had in the past. Raising a bald baby is like having a bad boss because they:
- Need Hand-holding: Just like your baby starts to cry when you walk away, lots of bosses tear up at the thought of you not walking them through the presentation you worked on all night, going with them to the meeting and then watching them take the credit.
- Don't Allow Sleep: Whether you're up all night for a crying baby or a sobbing boss, both encounters leave you with rumpled clothes, bloodshot eyes and a newly developed caffeine habit.
- Don't Give Lunch Breaks: Despite the lack of sleep, babies and bosses do not allow you to take a nap at lunch. Or take a lunch at all.
- Can't Decide: There are few things more annoying than a boss who can't make a decision. They must be channeling their inner tot when they decide they want one thing and two seconds later opt for something completely different.
- Throw Tantrums: Tantrums are what happen when babies or bosses don't get what they want, no matter how illogical the request is. (Why can't I have that space shuttle in the sky? Waaaaahhhh!)
- Can't Communicate: Your wee little one doesn't have the vocabulary to say what she wants. Despite his college degree, neither does your boss.
- Won't Share: Your boss wants the newest computer, the newest office furniture and wants to keep all the freebies sent to the office, despite the fact that he's the only one earning enough to buy those things himself. Your baby can't buy things yet, but he certainly is bad at sharing and good at whining to get what he wants.
- Pay Poorly: You do all the work but don't get paid accordingly. That about sums it up.
- Don't Clean Up: Cleaning up a room strewn with the wreckage of someone else's whims and playthings is something you do both at home and at the office.
- Get all the glory: You dress, feed, and prepare your child, er, boss for the world and rarely get a word of thanks. At least, your baby gives you a toothy grin and a big slurpy kiss.
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