There is a fantastic article entitled 10 Things I Want My Daughter To Know Before She Turns 10 by Lindsay Mead Russell offering spot-on advice to young girls (and boys). It frees kids from feeling they have to please everyone, gives them a voice and permission to pull away from their parents as they get older. I find most of it to be relevant and empowering. However, the part that saddens (and annoys and frustrates) me is her tenth and final comment, which starts with: "I know I'm not good enough and not the mother you deserve."
What? This mother just wrote a thoughtful piece that has likely been forwarded to parents across the country so that they too may instill confidence in their children, and yet she "knows" she's not a good enough mother? Where is her confidence? Why is she not a good enough mother? What about her is not worthy of the kids she is raising? Who is defining the "better" mother they deserve? I doubt her daughter thinks she deserves another mother?
Mothers (and all humans) are not perfect beings, nor are they meant to be Motherhood is about trial and error, but part of being a good mother is trying and trying again. Trying to be patient, trying not to yell after the 100th whine, maybe trying to cook more, trying to loosen up, trying to enjoy your kids. Every mother has her battles, the difference is that they vary in degrees. When it comes to eating healthier, to one mother that means eating less fast food, while to another mother that means eating less white flour. Both noble goals, both good enough.
I don't know Russell, but judging her solely on this article, I think she is an incredible mother. A mother who has already weeded out the silly stuff one worries about and who, like all mothers, wants to spare her daughter the heartache, time, and energy of focusing on those concerns. She is precisely the mother her daughter deserves. No mothers are perfect, but as we all strive to be better beings, we are indeed good enough.
What? This mother just wrote a thoughtful piece that has likely been forwarded to parents across the country so that they too may instill confidence in their children, and yet she "knows" she's not a good enough mother? Where is her confidence? Why is she not a good enough mother? What about her is not worthy of the kids she is raising? Who is defining the "better" mother they deserve? I doubt her daughter thinks she deserves another mother?
Mothers (and all humans) are not perfect beings, nor are they meant to be Motherhood is about trial and error, but part of being a good mother is trying and trying again. Trying to be patient, trying not to yell after the 100th whine, maybe trying to cook more, trying to loosen up, trying to enjoy your kids. Every mother has her battles, the difference is that they vary in degrees. When it comes to eating healthier, to one mother that means eating less fast food, while to another mother that means eating less white flour. Both noble goals, both good enough.
I don't know Russell, but judging her solely on this article, I think she is an incredible mother. A mother who has already weeded out the silly stuff one worries about and who, like all mothers, wants to spare her daughter the heartache, time, and energy of focusing on those concerns. She is precisely the mother her daughter deserves. No mothers are perfect, but as we all strive to be better beings, we are indeed good enough.
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