I turn 40 today and I think I'm supposed to be depressed about it. After all, the card at the drug store says, "Lordy lordy, look who's forty" in depressingly large black font in case the recipient doesn't have her bifocals on hand. (Note to the drugstore marketing team: You should really put the card next to the anti-aging cream.)
I can admit that I'm getting old and, in fact, I've noticed signs that I'm aging. If I bend down, my back aches for a few minutes before I can straighten up. I carry a sweater with me just in case the air conditioning is on too strong. I've walked out of restaurants because the music was too loud crowing, "Who can have a conversation with such loud music?!" I've already failed the high-frequency hearing tests I'm supposed to pass until I'm 40, so it's clear that any day now, I'm going to start asking the waiter to repeat the early-bird specials.
I can admit that I'm getting old and, in fact, I've noticed signs that I'm aging. If I bend down, my back aches for a few minutes before I can straighten up. I carry a sweater with me just in case the air conditioning is on too strong. I've walked out of restaurants because the music was too loud crowing, "Who can have a conversation with such loud music?!" I've already failed the high-frequency hearing tests I'm supposed to pass until I'm 40, so it's clear that any day now, I'm going to start asking the waiter to repeat the early-bird specials.
But I guess turning 40 is more than just asking your children repeatedly, "Are you sure you're not cold?" It does mean I'm old enough and--I think--mature enough to have said children. It means I recently bought my first home, know how to manage our budget so we can pay our mortgage and feel no compulsion to keep up with the Joneses.
At 40 I don't have any "mean-girl" friends or spend time with people whose company I don't enjoy. I don't worry (too much) about what people think about me because I know that they're probably too occupied with their own lives to think of me at all. I judge others less than I used to because life is too short to spend it thinking I'm better than others or others are better than me.
I can't say I'm very hip when it comes to fashion, but I know myself well enough to buy what flatters me instead of what everyone else is wearing. I've forgiven myself and others for their minor transgressions of years gone by. I no longer hold myself responsible for everyone's happiness. I don't say "yes" to things I don't want to do and if people say "no" to me, I no longer take it personally.
It doesn't take a slew of Facebook posts about my former high school classmates turning 40 to remind me that aging is inevitable. I have already dealt with enough loss to know that aging is an honor and that I should make the most of the years I have.
I may not understand the clothes at Forever 21 (I didn't know shorts could be so short!) and I may need a 20-year-old to help me figure out Windows 8, but I have enough wisdom to ask for help instead of trying to look cool. At 40, I know I'm not cool, instead I aim to be warm, adventurous, intelligent and always up for coffee or a cocktail with friends, new and old. Besides, you know what they say about being over the hill? Once you're over the hill, you begin to gain momentum. I'm in for a hell of a ride.
At 40 I don't have any "mean-girl" friends or spend time with people whose company I don't enjoy. I don't worry (too much) about what people think about me because I know that they're probably too occupied with their own lives to think of me at all. I judge others less than I used to because life is too short to spend it thinking I'm better than others or others are better than me.
I can't say I'm very hip when it comes to fashion, but I know myself well enough to buy what flatters me instead of what everyone else is wearing. I've forgiven myself and others for their minor transgressions of years gone by. I no longer hold myself responsible for everyone's happiness. I don't say "yes" to things I don't want to do and if people say "no" to me, I no longer take it personally.
It doesn't take a slew of Facebook posts about my former high school classmates turning 40 to remind me that aging is inevitable. I have already dealt with enough loss to know that aging is an honor and that I should make the most of the years I have.
I may not understand the clothes at Forever 21 (I didn't know shorts could be so short!) and I may need a 20-year-old to help me figure out Windows 8, but I have enough wisdom to ask for help instead of trying to look cool. At 40, I know I'm not cool, instead I aim to be warm, adventurous, intelligent and always up for coffee or a cocktail with friends, new and old. Besides, you know what they say about being over the hill? Once you're over the hill, you begin to gain momentum. I'm in for a hell of a ride.
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