I watched games in high school and at the University of Michigan, but 20 years later, I still don't know many rules of the game. Don't get me wrong, I can get into the game--watch every second, cheer for every touchdown and yell at the ref--but a week later, I'll probably forget who I was rooting for.
Yet every year I get excited about watching the Super Bowl. The stakes are high, the commercials are good and the food ridiculously unhealthy. Junk food rarely makes my weekly grocery list, but you better believe I already have a variety of chips and, lured by those hilarious Velveeta Ro*Tel ads, a box of Velveeta's "cheese product" to make a spicy, melty dip only Americans can enjoy. I used to watch the game with friends, but with two kids, aged one and three, I can't subject them to the constant madness that is watching a game with kids.
First there is the noise. Three-year-old-Monkey can talk to himself, his cars, and his "peoples" at a volume that makes me think he's trying to communicate with his superheros on another planet. He runs around, he's goofy and likes to sit perilously close to the TV. Munchkin, however, is not content with being close to the TV. Instead, she has to touch the TV repeatedly. She is also adept at changing the volume and channel by pressing the buttons on the side of the television screen. Once she changed the mode of the TV so drastically, we had to pull out the owner's manual to fix it.
When the kids aren't chasing each other around the living room, they like to eat everything. That doesn't sound like a bad thing, but "everything" means "everything-I-have-on-my-plate-and-was-about-to-eat." That means that even if we feed the kids a huge dinner and give them a fair share of Super Bowl chips, they will still want every single item I have in my hand. It's the method we used to get Monkey into green peppers, but it's annoying when trying to focus on a commercial, er, game and, you know, eat! I have a feeling my husband and I are going to have to pull out a chalkboard and strategize game day positions, tackles and offensive moves just to make it to the kids' bedtime.
This Sunday I really don't know who will claim victory, but I'm not worried about the Ravens or the 49ers, I'm worried we're going to lose to the the kids.